Comedy goldmine

So, I'm visiting my family. Faith is running around with a little charm bracelet that she stole off my mother. In addition to a charm with a totally adorable picture of me as a baby, there is a little charm that says, "Engaged, something something 1969".

I look up and ask my dad if they were really engaged in 1969. He answers yes.

"God, you've been sitting on that for 35 years? It's a comedy goldmine! I mean, the jokes practically write themselves!"

"So, after your mother and I were engaged in 69, we..."

"If there's anyone here who knows what it is like to be engaged in 69, it's me and your mother, so..."

My dad is a pretty funny guy, but I think he might be slipping.

Guilty conscience?

I went over to Mandy and Phil's tonight to read bedtime stories. As I'm getting up to leave, I knocked one of Faith''s stuffed animals out of her bed.

FAITH: Uncle Bobb, you knocked Sarafina out of bed!
ME: Oh, I..
FAITH: You bastard!
ME: *flee* *snicker*
MANDY: What did you say? What did you call Uncle Bobb?
FAITH: Uh... a bastard?

So, Mandy yells at Faith. Faith gets, as we call it, a "broken heart" and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Christian notices and starts yelling out of his bedroom.

CHRIS: What did she say?
PHIL: Nothing. Go to sleep.
CHRIS: What did she say?
PHIL: Nothing. Go to sleep.
CHRIS: What did she say?
PHIL: A swear word. Which she probably learned from you.
CHRIS: NoNoNoNo, not me, not me, not me, I swear it wasn't me! I swear!
PHIL: Okay, go to sleep.
ME: Huh. Guilty conscience?

Pirates of the Carribean Mini-Review

Went to see Pirates of the Caribbean last night with "My Gay Friend" Penelope. I give it a "good, but not great". Points off for over-the-top, totally unbelievable action scenes that didn't really look very cool. But points back for some over-the-top, completely unbelievable action scenes that did look really cool. Points off for Johnny Depp not playing Jack Sparrow and instead playing "Johnny Depp playing Jack Sparrow". (Which saddens me because Johnny Depp is totally the bees-knees.) But points back for Keira Knightley being totally hot and kicking some ass.

Best conversation of the evening:

ME: Eh, it was pretty good. Tell you what, though. Keira Knightly is smokin'' hot.
P: Eh, she's okay, I guess.
ME: Are you kidding me?!?
P: Well, she was really cute in Bend it Like Beckham. I liked her in that.
ME: Hah, she was, like, 14* in that movie. You cradle-robber! That's dirty. And hot.
P: ...
ME: But you are right, she was totally hot in Bend it Like Beckham.

* -- She was actually 17. Which is totally legal in PA.

Getting Rid of Grass

I took the first step towards my goal of removing all -- or at least most -- of the grass from my backyard and replacing it with flower beds and hardscape. Behold, the bird and butterfly garden:







So, I''ve still got a lot to do. But I''m pretty happy with what I managed to get done this year. I''ve got about 2/3 of the planned flowers planted. I''m working on getting the drip irrigation system in. Also need to level the pavers. And get a birdbath. Next year, I''ll finish up with the rest of the flowers and an arbor over the gate.

Problem with Microsoft Search

I ran across this while hacking together the PHP files for the blog. Apparently, the WindowsXP search does not actually search all files when using the "A word or phrase in the file" option. How very... useless.

Here is a workaround:

1. Open regedit and navigate to HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT.
2. Locate and expand the branch for the file type in question (for example: .txt, .adm or .asp).
3. If the PersistentHandler subkey does not exist, create it. Do this by clicking on the file extension key and going to Edit > New > Key. Name the key "PersistentHandler" (without the quotes). Click on the PersistentHandler key. In Regedit''s right pane, double click on the Default value and enter the following: "{5e941d80-bf96-11cd-b579-08002b30bfeb}" (without the quotes). WARNING: If the PersistentHandler sub-key does exist, do not change the default value.
4. Close Regedit and reboot the computer.

Source: Doug''s Windows Tweaks and Tips

Vegetable Gardening 2006

Due to the wonders of lead contamination, I got to completely re-do my garden this year. The new garden consists of two 4'' x 9'' raised beds, 15" deep. The walls are made out of "Veranda" brand composite decking. I started using the "Square Foot Gardening" method this year, so I''ve got a ton of stuff planted. It seems to be working out well, but I''ve already had to prune some stuff back, so we shall see what it looks like by the end of the season.

This year, I planted:

• Tomato ''Black Prince'
• Tomato ''Matt''s Wild Cherry''
• Tomato ''San Marzano''
• Pepper ''Lipstick''
• Pepper ''Tam Jalepeno'
• Pepper ''Carmen''
• Pepper ''Gourmet'' F1
• Pepper ''Yankee Bell''
• Cucumber ''Diva''
• Sweet Corn
• Zuccini
• Eggplant
• Okra
• Spinach
• Cantaloupe (Muskmelon)
• Watermelon
• Red Potatoes
• Carrots
• Onions
• Parsley ''Forest Green''
• Parsley ''Titan''
• Cilantro ''Santo''
• Basil ''Genovese Compact''
• Basil, Cinnamon
• Dill ''Superdukat''

Yes, those tomatoes are already over 5'' tall. In June.

Busy Bees

Here's a nice shot my lavender. I'm pretty sure it is Provence Lavender. The bees and butterflies love it.



You can also see some of my newer plants: in the middle right is Purple Pygmy Agastache, to the far right is Lilac Frost Spiderwort, and in the back is my monster Black-Eyed Susan.